People Drive Like Shit - Two Examples of Typical Assholes

I've been hanging on to these two stories for a few weeks; wanted to spread out the driving posts a bit.

About three weeks ago, on a Saturday morning, I'm approaching at a stop light onto a very busy 4 lane street. The drive I'm on is not really a street just serving as access to a chain restaurant and a couple small stores. As I am making my way up to the light, which is red, I become suddenly and shockingly aware that someone that was waiting in the main roads left turn lane just nanoseconds before has decided that he CAN NO LONGER WAIT OUT THE LIGHT and guns it for the right turn lane that I am approaching. He runs up the right turn lane, against traffic to blast passed me, forcing me to engage the anti-locks and flies by me on the little side street that I'm on. Remember it goes no where, except to a Steak and Shake, which is where is turns in and heads for the drive thru.

He nearly hit me, to order shitty breakfast food.

Of course he gave me the, "get fucked and get over it look" with which I am familiar having given it a time or ten myself.

I was completely in shock. As I've said before, I drive a lot and I see a lot of really stupid fucking people do really stupid fucking stuff, but this was a first.

As you can imagine, I was sorely tempted to chase his ass down, but my better judgement came over me. What good would it have done? Is he going to change his ways and not think he's the most important mother fucker on the road? No not likely. So I just shrugged, said "fucking asshole" and went on down the road.

I did spend the next few minutes though hoping for and imagining him choking on his food at that same light only to be found later by his family. I know...I think shit like that sometimes.

I probably should have that checked out.



Then the following week, I'm coming home from work. Traffic is fairly heavy on the street that I'm on, again a similar four laner. I find myself in the middle of a pack of people that all want to do just below the speed limit, in both lanes.

When opportunity presents itself, I wiggle around a few fellow motorists to come a long side an older women, say mid 60's, driving a queer little purple PT Cruiser. As I come along side her with the obvious intent to pass her and the pass the car ahead of me in my current lane, she looks over at me and guns her little piece of shit.

You may have already guessed but the Chief does not drive a PT Cruiser and I easily out ran her. But it pissed me off. There was just no reason for it. I wasn't cutting her off, riding her ass or otherwise interfering with her commute. Once I get around her, she runs up on my ass, so I try to introduce her to my rear bumper. She flails around a bit but recovers no worse for the wear.

Fortunately we find ourselves side by side at the next light, so I ask her what the fuck the point of trying to block me in was. She said I was an asshole and that she didn't appreciate me dancing with her. I countered that if she's going to play games she should expect people to fight back.

Then I asked what her problem was with me passing her since she was going slower that I was to which she replied, "Because I wanted to be in the front. You're an asshole."

I just laughed and said, "I like you. Crazy old bitch."

She laughed too and then the light turned.

First time road rage has ever ended in both ragers laughing that I know of.

There really isn't a moral to these stories other than people are assholes. I think the ridiculousness of all drivers involved is self evident.

With all due respect,
The Chief