Ever Notice - Smokers Are Retarded

Ever notice, smokers are retarded?

No, how could you miss it? They pay to poison themselves. They even pay extra taxes to poison themselves. They stand outside in the goddamn rain, snow, 100 degree heat, freezing cold to poison themselves. They schedule their whole day around poisoning themselves and they even poison themselves while telling their kids they shouldn't.

Those are the more obvious indicators of "nicotine dependency induced retardation". Some that you may not have observed further illustrate my point like:

• Smokers love to smoke but don't do it in their cars with the windows up because they can't breath. Retarded! If you weren't smoking, breathing would not be difficult. 

• Smokers say they smoke because they love the taste, but then tell you even they don't want someone smoking around them when they eat.

• Smokers don't like being told where they can and cannot smoke, but they'll smoke in their garages so their houses don't stink.

• Speaking of stinking. Smokers tell you that they hate the smell of their own smokey breath or clothes! As if they can actually smell how bad it really is, like we can!

Best of all and the strongest indicator that we should feel pity for smokers because they are mentally handicapped is that they can't read or comprehend simple language. What evidence do I have you ask, simply that THERE IS A WARNING THAT SMOKING WILL KILL YOU RIGHT ON THE PACKAGE. Smokers are the kind of retards that will tell you that they want special protective gear to keep hazardous paint fumes from effecting them while their cigarette dangles out of the end of their yellow toothed mouths.

With All Due Respect,
The Chief