Don't Ask, Don't Tell? Ask What?

This week our President promised to lift the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy in the United States Military. Personaly, I think its way passed due but I also believe he's going to have to do a lot of convincing to get the old farts in the upper echelons of the Services to go along with it.

There are so many things wrong with this policy that I won't even bother to go in to them.
Ok ,I can't resist so, I'll just list a few that come to mind:

Can't a gay guy kill an enemy combatant just as well as a straight guy?

If you were pinned by insurgent rocket and gun fire in a house in Mosel, would you really refuse cover by a bisexual infantryman?

After being shot at and watched your fellow soldiers getting blown up all day, do you really think the gay corporal is looking at your junk in the field shower?

If a gay soldier bombs out an entire village of Taliban, are they any less dead and don't you think that Osama hates it when gays blow up his villages?

Besides these more or less obvious questions, I have to wonder are there other things that we should Not Ask and Not Tell, like?

Don't Ask the President why Israel can have nukes but Iran can?

If you suspect a guy worships someone called Xenu, Don't Ask him if he's a Scientologist and he won't Tell you that he carries an E-meter in his field pack.

Don't Ask how much we spend on our military presense in the Middle East per day and they won't Tell you it cost $228 million per day.

Don't Ask a Marine if he knows what language Semper Fi is from and he won't Tell you that he thinks its Spanish.

Don't Ask General Petareus where Osama bin Laden is and he won't Tell you that they have no goddamn idea.

Just because you suspect that the Lietenent is screwing the nurse in your base med station, Don't Ask because he might Tell you that she uses forcepts on his rectum.

Don't Ask the asian guy in your platoon if he's Chinese because he's probably Korean and they hate the Chinese.

Besides, isn't this the Land of the Free where someone once wrote, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

Unfortunately I doubt that the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell will end homophobia and life-style discrimination in this country but its a start. While you're at it though, I'd limit the Gay Pride Parades for a while, they don't help much.

With all due respect,
The Chief