Rant #2: People who don't watch TV
OK. So everybody knows one of these douche bags.
You're in a conversation with someone and you mention something on the news or what happened on your favorite show. They solemnly respond with "I don't watch television." When those words are uttered you usually have to step back for a second to figure out your response.
The best response is "Well, that's the best place to get your news, entertainment and to form a perspective on the outside world."
This is the best response because that is generally what they think of the general populous. Granted, it's true, most everyone watches TV for this inane reason. Television is full of crap like Catching up with the Kardashians, Real Housewives of Orange County or any show VH1 has on right now.
But I digress. I'm not here to rip on Television (That's another article altogether.) I'm here to rip on the fuckers who think they're better than everyone else because they don't watch it.
Usually these people read way too much and take everything they read FAR too seriously. As if everything written is true and unbiased.
Now, where is this conversation going to go when they claim they don't watch TV? Nowhere you want to go.
They usually want to steer the conversation to things you don't want any part of. Examples: Politics (liberal), Religion (any), current events (yesterday's events) or diet (vegan).
Every now and then you'll get the one that says the ultimate variation "I don't OWN a television." Why? Are you Amish? Where's your beard?
Another variation of these Anti-TV fucks is the one that doesn't watch TV but spends most of their time on the computer.
That's probably worse! OK. Think about it. Most people who watch TV right now own a Tivo or DVR of some sort. I fast forward through all the ads and get to the real garbage. If you're online you are exposed to WAY more advertising than you are TV. (Unless you're on our site. But that's not exactly intentional. We'll take ads from shit like Proactive, Nokia or the latest summer movie.) Anyway, if you don't own a TV but have a computer you're usually squandering your life away with Hulu (TV on your computer) or World of Warcraft (Dungeons and Dragons without the real-life interaction). The internet is just as bad for news as well. It may be updated quick but it has just the same amount of slant as everything else. Perhaps more.
In closing, if you're one of these douche bags don't admit at a party that you don't watch or own a TV. We will shun you and not invite you back. I don't think we TV-Watching Assholes should put up with you any further.
TV-Watching Assholes Unite!!
Wait, hold off on that, Lost in on...
Darth Taco
7 comments:
One point that you missed is; most people that say they don't watch TV or even own a TV, watch stuff on DVDs or Hulu that was made for and originally viewed on TV.
If it was made for TV and you watch it on your computer by downloading it as a Torrent, your still watching TV.
Invalid....... Just because someone may watch a show made for television does not mean they are WATCHING T.V. Television means much more than shows that are broadcast! It means PASSIVELY accepting not only the shows being watched, but also PASSIVELY allowing advertisers, every 5-10 minutes, schlep their wares to your brain! As that asshole who used to watch NO T.V. to just an asshole who watches very little now; I just prefer the active approach to my media leisure, as opposed to the slow, plodding, brain-death approach T.V. has to offer!
Perhaps, however when you say "watch TV" you need to remember that there are those of us who partake in the television programming under our own terms by skipping commercials and only watching the bits that are meaningful by the use of a DVR and by getting our news from source outside of network news. We are not the couch-potatoes, brain-dead that you want to categorize us as. Watching TV via DVR is no different than watching a feature film or content on the internet.
More than likely those of us who use DVRs watch fewer hours of programming per week than those that sit in front of their PC on Hulu all night.
I was merely speaking for myself, in regards to brain-death, etc. The lesson was learned for my family some 10-12 years ago. I would come home from work and find the kids glued to the most asinine MTV Crib's, or some UPN network produced tripe and proceed to ask simple questions such as, have you done your homework, or what chores are marked off the list, or has the dog eaten, or is there a mad serial rapist lurking in the basement? Which of course took several attempts to get a response. At that moment the decision was made to get rid of the One-Eyed-Brain Sucker! And you know what I found??? After some growing pains, the family actually started doing more things together. We had better conversations, etc.
As for the "meaningful bits" you spoke of; I'm sure you meant that loosely. Correct?
Plus... Angry Brady is angry enough! T.V. was like Gamma rays for Bruce Banner! Sometimes the shit I saw just made this freak of nature even more angry!
And yes....
The reference to the Hulk was intended.
Thread summary:
If you watch TV, you're a fuktard.
If you don't watch TV, you're a douche.
Books are bad, computers are worse.
Conversations that aren't about TV are pointless. Pr0n sucks in hi-def.
The picture of the guy in front of the old computer is Darth Taco.
Post a Comment