Osbournes Reloaded? - Load of Shit You Mean

Did anyone see this? I think I may be one of the only people that actually Tivoed this travesty. It was 12 minutes of really bad teleprompter reading by the Osbourne family and 28 minutes of buffers and theme songs replays and recaps. All the usually buffoons were there, the fat son, the fat daughter, the Sharron monster and Ozzy, who didn't seem to be as doddering as he has, but still moves like an 80 year old man.

The show is essentially supposed to be a audience participation program wherein they put douche bags up to ridiculous tasks and situations. Out of the box, Sharron has Kelly go out into the crowd and find "the hottest guy she can find" who turns out to be some Chicano dude named Juan Carlos who could stand to lose 25 pounds and get a toupee. She then asks Kelly to find him a kissing partner to wit Kelly asks male or female in an attempt at seeming outrageous. Juan Carlos wants a girl and Kelly find a half-way decent looking 20-something as his victim. They are blindfolded and told to kiss for 15 seconds, which was both gross and hard to watch. After the 15 seconds they are told to do it again but for 30 seconds and as the blindfolded couple goes to kiss, you guessed it, they change the young girl for someones grandma. It was neither clever or funny, just nasty. He figures it out right away, he pretends to be into it for a second, but then asks "what the fuck it this". Its all very awkward and unfunny.

Their next bit is to trick a guy that was "randomly selected" from the audience into marrying his desperate girlfriend who has set the whole thing up. He's a fucking fat, bald dork and she is totally pathetic. They whisk them off to the contemplation room where he pretends to mull it over, while she cries in anticipation. Really, REEEEAALLY stupid. At the end of the show, they get married and everything is wonderful. What a fucking mess. They have some stupid band playing White Wedding to make it seem all rock and shit, but again it comes off dumb.

There is a bit where Kelly and Ozzy go to work at a fast food drive-thru. Ozzy can't hear the orders and Kelly cusses everyone then Ozzy throws food at people. Very dumb.

At the end of the show Ozzy sprays the front rows with some kind of foam out of a fire hose. I can tell you right now if some cocksucker soaked me in shit I'd jump that stage and shove the fucking hose down his throat. I can't believe that anyone would put up this that, even if they were told that they might get shit on them. He completely drowned this one chick and her boyfriend. Uh, I would have fucking killed him and the producer.

All in all the show was bad. It was amateurish at best and looked like it was directed and produced by high school kids. I think my son's high school theater group does a better job and their jokes and gags are actually funny.

There is little chance that I'll waste my time with this again, but if you do let me know. I'm curious if anyone else finds this entertaining. The Osbournes need to go back to what they do best, cussing, letting dogs shit all over their house and drugs.

With all due respect,

The Chief