Peanut Allergies, Where the Hell did this Come From?

I'm almost 40, so I've been around for awhile. Long enough to know that we used to get a lot more snow in St. Louis, we used to more than one video store to rent from, we Used to think that pot was not as bad as cigarettes, we USED to think that fucking monkeys created AIDS and we USED to be able to EAT GODDAMN PEANUTS AT SCHOOL!

I had never in my life ever met someone that was allergic to peanuts until about 5 years ago, when some kid at my son's elementary school was red-flagged as allergic. Then holy shit, ever fucking kid you came across was allergic. Or had a religious conflict with walnuts or was intimidated by cashews. Its completely new and no one seems to find that strange? Its so bad that now, elementary school kids have "peanut free tables" in the cafeteria and if you bring a peanut butter and banana sandwich to school in honor of the King's birthday, everyone acts like you brought a bucket full of Ebola. Right now I think there are 2 kids in my daughters grade level and the whole group of little snots has to have boring shit like white bread and saltines for their parties for fear that some food may have been in contact with a nut.

Not to say that I don't feel for a kid whose throat swells shut after seeing a Payday, but Good Grief already, does the whole fucking world revolve around one kid? And for that matter is funny how 5 years ago there was 1 kid in the whole school and now there are at least 2 in each and every classroom.

I think I smell bullshit.

Could it be that there are just a few legitimate cases of nut allergies but since the world is fully of ninnies, especially the over zealous bitches raising kids in west St. Louis County, that a nut "allergy" is just a new way to make your kid different, to be able to exert some power over the school and the other kids? Or is it hysterical mothers and their need to over-protect until the kid is 25 and carries a blankie?

I know I smell bullshit!

I just don't buy it that all of a sudden, in 1998 the whole fucking world became simultaneously allergic to a food that has, for the better part of two centuries, been a mainstay in the American diet.

Bullshit.

Unless...unless there is something else that is causing the peanut to be an allergen. Like...like all the fucking chemicals in our food, or all the fucking antibiotics that parents have their kids on because they get snotty noses. Our entire society is addicted to antibiotics. Hey Nancy Nursemaid, have you ever heard of letting the kids cold run its course? Maybe its because the Chinese have put something in the toys that the kids play with to make them hyper-allergic, or the Muslims are spraying shit out of the airplanes in the sky or maybe...maybe...

Maybe its Aliens.

Do you smell Bullshit?

The Chief