Done With Facebook

I'm done with Facebook. I know you've read my complaints and criticisms about this "social" networking site before. So what? Can't a guy re-bitch once in a while?

Initially I found Facebook interesting even a little entertaining, as I'm sure most of you who are users did. I was able to check out people that I haven't seen or talked with in years. 75% of those people though I could really do without and honestly most of them I only friended for morbid curiosity. I really did enjoy looking at people who have become rotund toads or bald or turned out just like I always knew they would, losers. I enjoyed it so much that on several occasions I spent a couple of hours in bed with my laptop on my chest writhing in laughter. Come on, there is nothing funnier than people turning in to the pieces of shit you always knew they were and believe my high school network provides lots of material.

Eventually I found people that I was glad to reconnect with; old friends that I had lost contact with through mutual laziness and divergent life-paths and classmates that although I was not close to in the past, we shared a few years in the same place and we have shared memories.

All of this reconnecting and co-recollection comes with a price. You become the unwary and unwilling reader of the chronicles of the stupid. Everyday your Facebook home page is filled with their whining and bitching, their lame attempts at humor, their partial conversations because they don't understand how to use the system and worst of all, their FUCKING RELIGION!

Facebook becomes a mechanism for zealots to preach. Not direct "you better kneel before the cross or the god who loves you will give your kids cancer" kind of preaching, but more passive-aggressive shit like "I bask in the Glory of a Risen Savior" or "I'm thankful that I believe in Him." Rubbish. Of course its always Christians. I haven't seen one Jew or Muslim preaching. Not even a Scientologist. Typical.

Then there are the people that you friend or are friended by that you see daily. The draw here I suppose is to keep tabs on each others extra-friend communications and to irritate everyone else with inside jokes. Why else do you need to wall-to-wall someone you saw at lunch, whose cell and home numbers you have or someone you  will see again tomorrow morning?

This is the true tumor in Facebook.People that are possibly too familiar already, becoming contemptuous through overexposure. Facebook becomes a vehicle for snide remarks and disingenuous compliments to be made under the veil of good natured fun. Shit is said that wouldn't be said face to face, or if it were you'd at least have the aural and visual cues you need to properly interpret the statement.

To further this irritation, the shitty comments and nasty jabs are available for everyone you know to read and they don't even have to look for them, they are delivered to their Home page without even having to ask. This way everyone gets to know that you had toilet paper hanging out of your skirt or that you were caught jerking it by your mom in 7th grade to the neighbor's cats fucking. And unless you are right there at your computer or on your phone, the comment can go up for hours and days before you even notice it. Damage done. That funny remark just made an ass out of you to everyone you know.

Its like having the gym teacher tell you that you don't need to wear your cup for P.E in front of the whole class.

That basically sums up what Facebook has become, one big high school. Just a bunch of posers and douches trying to be funny with a sprinke of show-offs and the L.D. kids bumbling around while the teachers tell us that we are all going to be failures.

Sorry folk I graduated in 1988, I'm done with highschool.

With All Due Respect,

The Chief