Special Report - Expletive Infixation, or Merry Mc Fuckin Christmas!

Expletive infixation is the the insertion of an expletive into a common word or phrase. Expletive infixation or EI is a higher form of cursing that may only be practiced once you have mastered the finer points and nuances of cussing. Certainly not for everyone, EI is difficult to do correctly, to time correctly and must be used sparingly otherwise it sounds awkward and excessive, similar to the manner in which most if not all boxers speak.

There are few rules to the structuring an expletive infixation, but they must be followed carefully. First and foremost the infixator must only insert his expletive of choice, commonly fuck, between syllable boundaries such as  ri-goddamn-diculous or un-goddamn-believable. Generally this rule includes the use of the expletive in later syllabic boundries as such as in non-cha-fuckin-lant, abso-fuckin-lutely or in-su-fuckin-ficient.

A second and still important rule in EI is that the user must try to insert expletives that complement the frictives and plosives in the word being inserted. For example non-cha-fuckin-lantly as opposed to non-cha-goddamn-lantly or in-fuckin-credable rather than in-goddamn-credable.

A third and perhaps lesser discussed rule, more of a guideline, is that fuck and goddamn are the two best, most effective and infixates available. Generally one does not hear words like shit, piss, cocksucker or cunt infixed. Either because they phonetically do not work or that they don't have quite the impact that the latter words do is up for debate.

Another, semi-alternate form of expletive infixation is mono or non- primary syllable phrasing EI. This is a form of EI where in the expletive is inserted into a phrase following a guttural pause which may replace a definite or indefinite article. For example, Leave me a'-fuck alone!" and Shut the fuck Up!". The former phrase usually retains the definite article but can be heard as Shut a-fuck Up! as well.

Wikipedia has collected a very nice list of expletive infixation examples. A partial list appears below for your study. For further reading please visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expletive_infixation#See_also

• for-fucking-ever


• dis-fucking-stracted


• un-fucking-real


• congratu-fucku-lations (Harold and Kumar)


• un-fucking-believable


• unbe-fucking-lievable (The White Album, 2000; The Wire)


• fan-fucking-tastic (Terms of Endearment, 1983; The Departed, 2006)


• out-fucking-standing


• hi-fucking-larious


• inco-fucking-herent


• noncha-fucking-lantly


• fan-damn-tastic (Earthsiege 2)


• guaran-damn-tee (Southwest American slang)


• "ri-goddamn-diculous" (attributed to a drunken John Wayne, in an address to graduating ROTC cadets, also used in the movies Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me and Haggard)


• "abso-fraggin'-lutely" (catch phrase of character John Sheridan in the television show Babylon 5)


• "Ala-fucking-bama" (used in the movie My Cousin Vinny)


• "I'd say that makes him a lia-fucking-bility." (from The Boondock Saints)


• "You don't look like your average horti-fucking-culturalist." (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels)


• "Cinder-fucking-rella" (from Pretty Woman)


• Don't inter-fucking-rupt!


• "I'm not o-fucking-kay!" (from 'I'm Not Okay (I Promise)' by My Chemical Romance)


• "Pay a-bloody-ttention!" (from Dressed to Kill by Eddie Izzard)


• "Forty-fucking-five!" (from Sex and the City)


• "Contra-fuckin'-band" (from The Departed, 2006)


• "Sen-fucking-sational" (from QI, Series A episode 4, October 2003)


• Led-fucking-Zeppelin


• Ronald McGodDamnDonald


• Bat-fucking-man