Last August my wife and I purchased a 49cc scooter. We spent several months researching before we purchased. When we decided to make our purchase we went to a well known dealer, specializing in Italian designed and built scooters. We spent at least 3 hours there looking and asking questions. We even left and came back, to make sure we were making an informed, non-snap decision. We decided on a 49cc scooter after a long discussion with the salesman. We told him we wanted to go that route so we didn’t have to license, insure, and get motorcycle permit/licenses. He tried to convince us that we would kick ourselves for not going to A larger cc scooter, that we would want the extra power and ability to go where we liked. We agreed that ultimately we probably would, but were going to stick with our decision regardless. We made sure that he understood that we wanted to go this route so as to avoid all of the bullshit involved with licensing, etc. He understood….
When I brought the new ride home I decided to cruise by the d.m.v. to at least register the thing in my name. you know, so if it gets stolen I would have the needed proof that it was mine. Well, they looked at me funny and said i could not register a 49cc scooter. That would mean a license, etc. I asked how I would prove it was mine in the event of theft. They said it was not property in the vehicular sense of the word, therefore, the d.m.v. had nothing to do with this situation. I walked away….
Days and months went by. I rode the scooter often, enjoying every moment.
Then one day 2 weeks ago, I got a letter in the mail from the d.m.v. stating that because I had failed to register my scooter, I was being assessed the maximum amount for this failure!! I proceeded to blow a gasket! I immediately called the dealer. I told him the situation, he told me that if my scooter fit within 5 parameters I did not in fact, have to register it. Well, it failed 2 of the 5. At which point I informed him that when my wife and I were purchasing this piece of machinery, we made it crystal clear to his salesman of our not wanting to buy something we had to license, etc. in fact, we had the money to purchase up if we indeed wanted to, but were steadfast in our decision. He said he couldn’t answer as to why our salesman was obviously confused by our simple request, but that all of his sales people are instructed on the particulars of the 49cc law, and are instructed to inform clients of that fact. He suggested I call the d.m.v. and tell them my plight. I was to remind them it was a 49cc and not share with them the 2 things that the dealer said made my 49cc scooter purchase null and void, with regards to the 49cc law! 1. That it could in fact go faster than30 m.p.h. on level ground. 2. That it was 5 brake horsepower and not 3, per the law.
I hung up with him feeling like he had totally disregarded my initial concerns that the salesman had in fact sold us something we were not trying to buy in the first goddamn place! I made the call to Jefferson city. After sitting on hold for in excess of 35 minutes, I got a human. I proceeded to tell him of the letter they had sent me and my conversation with the dealer. The guy on the other end said “well of course you can’t register a 49cc scooter! We’ve had some confusion over this. Let me get you to the division that handles this specifically.” another 15 minutes on hold. The voice at the other end asks me some pertinent questions regarding my scooter allowing me to sidestep the 2 offending disqualifiers, but then proceeds to inform me that the reason I was receiving this correspondence was the dealer failed to collect sales tax! A common practice when purchasing “taxable property”. in the states eyes I had purchased something the dealer must have believed to be licensable. Therefore I was receiving this delinquent payment of tax and registration letter. I hung up. I was not a happy camper. I was ready to administer some swift, bloody, rage filled judgment! This fucker that sold me this thing knew this scooter was a cunt hair over the required specs to truly make it a 49cc scooter. I talked to one of the higher-ups of the scooter guild or whatever the fuck it is, about this. I had in excess of 15 e-mail exchanges with him. He was quite helpful. Giving him all my info and my history, he proceeded to tell me that after talking with another area dealer he trusts, it was in fact the dealer who is responsible for collecting sales tax and I should disregard the letter from the state. It’s a 49cc after all. If the dealer sold me something I plainly did not ask for, knowing I would have to register it as a motorcycle, then his salesman was misrepresenting himself. I tried calling the dealer back and was unable, through his lackeys, to get ahold of him. I tried the state back. Waiting countless more minutes on the phone, and explaining my plight again,(like these fuckers don’t record this shit and have the info available to them), was informed that I should wait for a second letter so I could appeal.
As long winded as this story is, it really isn’t all of it! But I really don’t want to make the reader blow his/her brains out any more than necessary. What I’m actually trying to do is spark some interest in said reader to respond! I know you people have had shit like this happen to you! Maybe not to this degree, maybe more! Have you been, or are you stuck in some legal purgatory??!! Have you wanted to grab one of those puke bureaucrats or crafty sales people by their sta-pressed collars and exact a little justice of your own, cause you know, without hiring one of the other vampiric trades to extract even more simoleans from you, you won’t get satisfaction? What have you done about these sorts of situations?? Have you gone away, quietly, whimpering, with a growing sense of resentment and distrust of now, many others?? Justifiably or not! Give me some feedback you silent sots! I feel like the dude in the classic 1976 movie
“network”! I mad as hell, and I’m not gonna take it anymore! My situation has just begun. Maybe you’ve had one that has ended, possibly in your favor, possibly not! Either way, get up off your lazy goddamn ass and help a brother out!
Angry brady
I worked at 7-11, the midnight shift. Sometimes there would be hours that i did not see a single soul. So I did what any 19 year old male would do. I looked at the porn mags. So I'm reading Penthouse Forum one night about how to please your woman in extraordinary ways. 
