Hang Up and Drive? No, Fuck Off and Get Out of My Way!

See the sticker, now look carefully in the side view mirror. Yes, he's on the phone. These stickers and all their variations really piss me off.

I understand and have observed that there are people that can't talk on their cell phone and properly drive their cars. As a matter of fact I had an idiot this morning driving with her passenger side tires in my lane down McCausland and almost run me into a construction barricade because she was too distracted by her conversation to control her car. And yes, I honked at her and called her a fucking idiot, and yes she continued to drive like that after I passed her. The thing you have to remember though is that she probably also can't talk to a passenger and drive or brush her teeth and look in the mirror without becoming confused.

What we need is a driver's licensing system that takes into account intelligence and your ability to multi-task. These fuckers that run off the road trying to dial would probably be handed a bus pass instead of a driver's license if I wrote the tests.

Face it, most people are too stupid to be allowed to drive; and yet they are also allowed to breed, but that's another post for another day.

Driving and talking on a cell phone, particularly with a headset, is no different than talking to someone in the passenger seat, UNLESS YOUR A SIMPLETON! Talking on your phone and driving should be a lot easier than driving and trying to smack your smartass little brat in the backseat or trying to find your lighter or getting a blow job; all of which I have personally witnessed in the last week.

What I didn't see though was a "Stop Getting Your Dick Sucked and Drive" bumper sticker, but before you get any ideas I've already order them.

The other thing that I notice is that these stickers are almost always on the back of a vehicle, usually a pickup truck, driven by someone that probably doesn't have the intellectual capacity to operate a cell phone or the money to buy one. And the stickers are frequently on the same side of the bumper as their Jesus fish thing and their Cowboy Up sticker.

Sure, texting while you're driving or trying to dig someone's phone number out of your address book while you're driving is stupid but, talking and driving should not be an issue. As a matter of fact, let me tell you dick-sniffers that bitch about cell phones and driving something; the next time you look over to see me talking on the phone and start yelling for me to hang up remember IF YOUR LOOKING AT ME YOUR NOT LOOKING WHERE YOU ARE GOING! SUCK IT ASSHOLE!

-The Chief