Que pasa paganos!!! The Rev is back and better than ever. Today's lesson is about all the time the so-called "geniuses" of the world have wasted on trying to figure out the science of the earth. There have been billions of dollars spent on research, tens of thousands of books written by pinhead idiots and millions of opinions from the "great minds" of the world about subjects like the earth's roundness, the gravitational field, atmospheric circulation, the number of stars and the hydrological cycle. The problem with all that is one book already had all the answers and if these idiots would have read it, they would have had much more time to sit around, play cards, smoke weed and whatever else they were interested in, other than wasting time. So let's talk what the Bible says about some of these subjects, what years these subjects were answered by the Bible and also when the most intelligent men in the world finally answered these questions. Strap on your dunce caps minions, here we go...
1. THE EARTH'S ROUNDNESS:
BIBLE: "It is He that sits on the CIRCLE of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are like grasshoppers; that stretches out the heavens as a curtain, and spreads them out as a tent to dwell in". - Isaiah 40:22. The book of Isaiah was written between 701-671 BC and it clearly says the earth is a circle or round. Hmmmm.
MAN: Men argued for 2000 years over whether the earth was flat, round, triangular and every other geometric shape. The earth was finally confirmed circular or round in 1492 AD by Christopher Columbus, over 2000 years after the Bible said it was.
VERDICT: Christopher Columbus, Aristotle and the Greek "geniuses" that all wasted time on this question for two milleniums are all, wait for it..........IDIOTS!!!
2. HYDROLOGICAL CYCLE:
BIBLE: "All the rivers run into the sea, yet the sea is not full; To the place from which the rivers come, there they return again". - Ecclesiastes 1:7. The book of Ecclesiastes was written between 971-931 BC. This verse clearly describes the hydrological cycle we know of today.
MAN: "The water cycle, also known as the hydrologic cycle, describes the continuous movement of water on, above and below the surface of the Earth. Since the water cycle is truly a "cycle," there is no beginning or end" is man's definition of the hydrological cycle. Bernard Palissy was the braniac scientist credited with its discovery in the 16th century or 2400 years after the Bible described it.
VERDICT: Bernard Palissy is an IDIOT!!! He would probably roll over in his pagan grave had he known how much time he had wasted researching and writing on this elementary subject. Moron!
3. VAST NUMBER OF STARS IN THE UNIVERSE:
BIBLE: "And as the stars of the sky CANNOT BE COUNTED and the sand on the seashore cannot be measured, so will I multiply the descendants of my servant David and the Levites who minister before me". - Jeremiah 33:22. The book of Jeremiah was written between 630-580 BC and clearly let's anyone smart enough to read the Bible know that you cannot count the number of stars.
MAN: For thousands of years up to and including today, man has been trying to put a real number on the stars in the solar system. As of this year the number was at 300,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 or more. Are you kidding me? How about this...YOU CAN'T COUNT THEM ALL, MORONS!!!!!
VERDICT: Any astrologer from Galileo on is an IDIOT for wasting time trying to count stars, writing articles and books on counting stars and for making other idiots believe you can count all the stars. We have now wasted around 2600-2700 years on this subject!!!
4. PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE OF BLOOD IN LIFE PROCESSES:
BIBLE: "For the life of a creature IS IN THE BLOOD, and I have given it to you to make atonement for yourselves on the altar; It is the blood that makes atonement for one's life". - Leviticus 17:11. The book of Leviticus was written between 1440-1400 BC and clearly states that the blood in a creature is the key to life.
MAN: "Blood sustains life. It delivers oxygen, nutrients and other essential substances including vitamins and medicines to the different cells in the body. A deficiency in the supply or quality of blood will impair the quality of life and even compromise life itself". Well, isn't that an unbelievable, life altering statement made by some "genius" 2500 years after the Bible already told us? What would we do without the "genius" of man?
VERDICT: All the doctors, scientists and researchers that wasted time coming up with this groundbreaking discovery 2500 years after the Bible are...wait for it........................IDIOTS!!!!!
5. ATMOSPHERIC CIRCULATION
BIBLE: "The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually , and the wind returneth again according to His circuits". - Ecclesiastes 1:6. Again, the book of Ecclesiastes was written between 971-931 BC.
MAN: English scientist George Hadley (1685-1768 AD) described the trade winds and was given credit for the discovery of atomospheric circulation in 1753 AD.
VERDICT: Mr. Hadley, you and everyone before you that wasted so much time and energy on this very elementary subject, are indeed IDIOTS!!!!!
6. GRAVITATIONAL FIELD:
BIBLE: "He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; He SUSPENDS THE EARTH OVER NOTHING". - Job 26:7. The book of Job was written between 1657-1473 BC.
MAN: The cause of gravity was researched in the 16th century by Galileo, in the 17th century by Sir Isaac Newton and was finally confirmed in 1915 AD by Einstein. From 1500 BC to 1915 AD there were stories of an animal or giant holding up the earth and countless other myths as to how the world was suspended in the air and rotated.
VERDICT: Einstein, Galileo and Newton were all IDIOTS!!!! How many research papers, math equations, hours staring into space and books did these bafoons write about a subject that had been answered thousands of years before and more importantly answered by one book. Morons!!!!!
You get the point of this article at this point, I'm sure. I'll save some time and space by rattling off a few more of the scientific subjects it has taken man thousands of years to answer when the Bible had already stated these answers in its scripture:
1. Only in recent years has science discovered that everything we see is composed of invisible atoms. Scripture tells us that "the things which are seen were not made of things which do appear". - Hebrews 11:3
2. Medical science has only recently discovered that blood clotting in a newborn reaches its peak on the 8th day, then drops. The Bible consistently says in 55-60 verses that a baby must be circumcised on the 8th day. The following are some of those verses: Philippians 3:5, Luke 1:59, Luke 2:21.
3. Science has discovered that stars emit radio waves which are received on earth as high pitch sounds. In Job 38:7 God says, "when the morning stars sang together...".
4. Most cosmologists (scientists who study the structures and evolution of the universe) agree that the Genesis account of creation, in imagining an initial void, may be uncannily close to the truth". - Time Magazine 1976.
5. Science expresses the universe in five terms: time, space, matter, power and motion. Genesis 1:1-2 revealed such truths to the Hebrews in 1450 BC: "In the beginning (time) God created (power) the heaven (space) and the earth (matter); And the spirit of God moved (motion) upon the face of the waters". The first thing God tells man is that He controls all aspects of the universe.
We'll get into dinosaurs in another article and whether they lived 100,000,000 years ago or 6,000 years ago. I don't think your small brainwashed minds could handle it. The moral of this story is men in all there infinite wisdom are IDIOTS. There is a book that has all the answers to every question you have about the earth and life. It's roughly 1200 pages long. There have probably been 100,000 books spanning millions of pages written by "geniuses" to answer these same questions. Read it and see for yourself and stop listening to IDIOTS that tell you that the Bible is just a bunch of nice words and rules that was concocted by crazy people to keep you in line. Every book ever written on Evolution is nothing but a man's opinion and man made drawings that have no scientific evidence to back it up. Absolutely none. Not one Bible fact has ever been disproven by science. It's just a bunch of IDIOTS that get paid to find the next big discovery and that jockey for the next Science or Nobel award so they can say they are a "genius". Don't be an IDIOT, educate yourself with the only book that has, does and ever will matter in life. That's my opinion, I could be wrong. Wait for it.......................NOT!!!!!
This has been a Public Service Announcement from yours truly,
The Rev

2 comments:
It took me a couple days to finish this but it was worth it!
Congratulations.
This is by far the funniest post we've ever had on here.
Great job!
You're right, I should have posted something about Josh Duhamel, John Edwards or some other "celebrity". I can't seem to get myself to focus on such "serious" matters. Deep...deep. Thanks Darth, I'll refocus my priorities better, lol!!! Next time you post, at least dazzle us with a big star like Lady GaMan or Mooriah Carey. Later dude. - Rev
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