Bad Ideas in Television

What
The
Fuck
?

There's been some shitty shows over the years. I'm not just talking the poorly written, disastrously casted type. I'm referring to the shows that get greenlit and you ask yourself "who the fuck thought this was a good idea?"
Examples: Cop Rock, Cavemen (based on the Geico commercials), any show on E! (except The Soup) and VH1.

Here's the newest piece of crap for the list:
Outsourced
Who thought it was a good idea to greenlight this show?
I hate it and it hasn't even aired.

In case you haven't seen a commercial or ad for it here's the premise:

Outsourced is set in a Mumbai, India call center, where an American novelties company has recently outsourced its order processing. A lone American manages the call center and must explain American popular culture to his employees as he comes to understand Indian culture.
(Cut and pasted from Wiki because I'm lazy)

Am I the only one who sees the bad timing in this?
This may have been a good idea a couple of years ago when the Foamy The Squirrel Tech Support video was popular but how about now? (brown cow)

Another Fuck You Song

No one voted for this song. Apparently you've never heard it. I quite like it. Always liked Ska.

Enjoy and fuck you.

People Are Dumb (not strange)!

It tires me when people read my stuff and are so very simplistic that they think they can pigeon-hole Angry. So many people want shit to be in a nice little black and white box in their minds, so as to not make them have to fully consider or hear/read what someone is either really saying or how they believe. This is a direct result, in my humble opinion, of years of electronic media conditioning. For at least 3 generations now people have been raised by their Electronic Babysitter, T.V.! This situation has been exacerbated by computers and video games. It has turned a lot of humans into these multi-tasking, multi-listening, multi-masterbating, know-nothings that would rather parrot whatever they've heard on their favorite talking head pundit radio/television show, or what their Shemp-witted peers have told them in passing and now take it as gospel! Really it's quite tiring and depressing to me. USE YOUR MINDS PEOPLE! READ SOME HISTORY! REAL HISTORY, NOT THAT SHIT PUT TOGETHER BY DK PUBLISHING OR CLIFF NOTES! ENGAGE IN HEALTHY DEBATE, NOT TRITE JABS ABOUT SOMEONE'S ETHNICITY, GENDER, OR POLITICAL STANCE! Those things really just display to me how very little you know and how slowly your brain works!

Hey Christine O'Donnell Masturbation is Deficit Neutral!

Arianna Huffington was commenting on Christine O'Donnell while appearing on the Jay Leno Show. In case you don't know who that is, she is the Delaware Senatorial Tea-Party candidate that has freaked out the GOP by beating a long standing GOP leader Mike Castle. Her win has so completely pissed off the Republican establishment that Karl Rover was practically spitting when he called O'Donnell "nutty".

So in Huffington's remarks about O'Donnell, she said that she appears to be overly concerned about masturbation and that she felt that Christine should be concerned about more pressing issues like say 10% unemployment or crippling Federal spending.

Typical of a Tea Partier, overly concerned about religion and baby-sitting us, she put out a anti-masturbation video as part of her SALT (Saviors Alliance for Lifting the Truth) campaign in the 1990's. They should have named their little group the Mind Controllers Who Are Too Nerdy To Get Laid (not sure that would spell anything out though). Here's the video for your viewing pleasure; just for fun you should give it a little tug while you watch.



But really, why would a political candidate whose platform is supposedly based on changes to governance that improve the economy and thereby our lives be worried about whether or not I rub one out once in a while.

Broken Hearts are for Assholes! And you'll be one soon!

Thanks to Zappa for the title. The shame is that he is dead, or he too might be as concerned as I, about what is happening to state of affairs that the Interwebs may be in soon, if we don't get involved! That means you chuckle-heads!! What does Angry mean??

Well if you're viewing this page or even if you're not, but instead wanking it away to that malware infested pr0n site your so fond of; you know the one that's got you ready to loose your marriage, your job, and has you seriously contemplating finding the real thing on the streets, YOU WILL ALL BE AFFECTED!!!

If we allow ISP's or (sound of throat clearing) Search Engines, etc., to have their way you won't probably hear from this website again, much less most any other oddball site that allows for dissension or is not chocked full of so many flash-based ad's your not even sure where the site begins and where the commercials start!!

If you're still not sure if Brady is speaking ancient Aramaic look here...*******.
I also recommend checking out the F.C.C. on how to get involved.

I know most of you think this is a nonstarter. Most of you would be, well, idiots then!! This issue is about as big as they come. How about a little history?

Nicki Minaj - Freaky Booty!

I haven't watched all of this year's Video Music Awards but I had to write this before the public collective memory faded and moved on to the next stupid celebrity stunt, like a meat dress...

Anyway, when I first saw this chick performing a song with Will.I.Am, I thought, "huh she's different. I like the look."

But when she and Katy Perry presented the Moon Man for the Best Male Video all I could think was "Is Wee-man hiding in her pants?" BTW, are the Jack Ass guys getting creepier? Perhaps another story.

Anyway, I looked over at my wife and said, "holy shit, what the fuck is with her ass? That is crazy looking. Can that be real?"

She makes J-Lo look normal and Katy Perry looked almost 2 dimensional next to her.

Te caigo el cuchillo o disparamos!

I'm sure you're aware of the riots going on in LA protesting the shooting of Manuel Jamines by the LAPD.

If not, here's a little recap: Last Sunday afternoon three bicycle cops were flagged down by citizens and told that there was a drunk guy at McArthur Park yielding a knife and threatening people. The officers told him to put down the knife in English AND Spanish but he refused. Jamines lunges at the officers, they shoot him dead.

Now, for the next two to three days there were riots in front of the LAPD headquarters. People throwing eggs, tossing household items from apartment buildings, rolling metal trash bins, shooting things from slingshots while shouting "Assassination, Assassination."

This mob is the epitome of Idiots. They are one of the major reasons assholes like me have a website like this.

I've always been raised to respect law enforcement. Not necessarily like them but to respect their "authoritah". I'm not a big fan of cops. I'm sure there's some real pricks out there. But they have to be. It's part of their training. It's what keeps them alive.

Happy Labor Day, Now Get Back To Work!

Happy Labor Day Everyone

Well, everyone except for 9.6% of you.

You know who you are, you unemployed bastards.

Why are we celebrating Labor Day? Because we do such a great job working? No. Because we feel we're entitled to take a day off.

But do we deserve it?

Here's a little background on this holiday.

Labor Day has been around for over 100 years. The Federal Government (idiots) made it an official holiday in 1894 to honor its workers.

Now, I'm all for America, but wouldn't you say our "workforce" is dwindling? When was the last time you saw a factory or a production company go up? The newest construction I notice is another fucking bank being built or another unnecessary fast food joint springing up.

We've become a country of consumers, not producers. Just look at our automotive industry and how it's in the tank.

How many people do you know that have lost their job in the last 10 years because they're work has been outsourced to India or Brazil?
Or Mexico (thanks Al Gore!)

St. Louis Japanese Festival or Why White Girls Should Not Wear Kimonos

Labor Day weekend in St. Louis has many traditions; the Greek Festival in the Central West End, the Blues Festival and the Japanese Festival at the Missouri Botanical Gardens to name an obvious few. This year for the first time in our collective lives, my family attended the Japanese Festival after many years to saying we were going only to be otherwise occupado or having missed it due to weather.

For year's I have imagined what this festival would be like, particularly since as a kid I was fascinated by Japanese culture, their art and the language. My mind created vivid scenes with Japanese women in kimonos walking in small groups with their feet shuffling along in their wooden geta, faces done in the traditional white with little red lips; Japanese men in toggle buttoned jackets or long hanfu robes. Parades of Geisha and Kabuki actors and Japanese children running with koi kites; Sumo wrestling in a open ring; Tai Chi practitioners in their 80's, slowly moving from pose to pose.

But you know how it works when you've looked forward to something for too long and you allow your mind to create visions of the place or event long before you experience it; the real thing rarely lives up. Instead of my glorified expo of Nippon culture, I got fat anime kids in goofy costumes, dorky old men that obsess over little trees and pale, skinny white girls from South County beating the Taiko drums. While there were some, actually very few, Japanese people there, the vast majority of the performers and demonstrators were in fact American. Ok supposedly the girl that introduced the Sumo was of Japanese decent living in Hawaii, but even the Sumo weren't Japanese. Two of them were plain old Hawaiians and the really big fat nasty looking one was no Japanese yokozuna but just some big corn feed dude from the midwest that moved to Hawai'i.

I Still Hate Street Cyclists

Can we do something about assholes riding their bikes on busy streets?

First of all, when I drive in to my office and there's some dipshit on a bike in his ultra queer spandex cyclist getup, I wonder why he is not at work or going to work? I imagine that most, if not all cyclist are these weird; too much time on their hands, fitness douche bags; probably some kind of consultant or independent agent with nothing to do most of the time. They fill their day with crap like cycling because deep down they want people to see them exercising because it makes them feel superior.

Penises Grown On Rabbits

I've been saving this one for a while. Back in late 2009, about November I believe, Dr. Anthony Atala of Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center's Institute for Regenerative Medicine announced that his team have successfully grown penises on the backs of rabbits that had their peni previously removed.

This story provides many easy penis joke starters, but the gravity of this work is truly important. They grew these penises on these poor friggin eunice bunnies, I believe on their backs, and then grafted them back in place, with no rejection since the new penises were grown with cells from the little bunny patients themselves.

And apparently what they say about rabbits is true, because all 18 of the new rabbit penises were put to use within 1 minute of being caged with female bunnies.

Out of those 18 horny couples, 4 became pregnant.