Hey Ladies, Could You Grow Up a Bit?

Gentlemen, I'm sure you've noticed a trend among the fairer sex that has become a source of piqued irritation, at least to me. Why has it become acceptable for women to shout, moan, slurp or squeal and clap like they're 12 year old girls when a good looking guy is mentioned or on TV or in a movie. As I recall this is a behavior for which we have been criticized and condemned for years. When we make a comment about a woman's appearance or sexiness we are called sexist, pigs, disgusting and crude, but apparently its all right for them. If you are unsure of what I am referring let me give you a couple anecdotes.

A couple nights ago a friend's wife, who will remain nameless but will no doubt read this, forced her husband to watch a segment of American Idol over and over again so that she could shoot a picture of one of the guys with her iPhone.

My secretary a few years ago could not stop moaning and groaning about Gavin Degraw, to the point that other people in the office asked me who the hell she was so worked up about.

A friend of mine rarely makes it through a discussion about a movie or television show without mentioning how hot one of the guys in the show is. Usually these mentions are very much tourettes-like for example, "Hey have you seen Shutter Island yet, its really good?" "No I saw the preview but wasn't sure what it was about, GodLeonardoIsHot!"

Kara DioGuardi on American Idol calling the dude with the long hair in the above picture "eye candy".

Now before you say something idiotic like, "oh you're just jealous" or "you do it too," let me stop you. I'm not jealous, not a bit. I'm pretty secure and rarely feel threatened by other men, and why on earth would I be threatened if my friend's wife is into some dude on American Idol? As far as the cross-accusation, forget it. One thing I learned from watching my dad as a kid and most men from his generation was that piggish ogling is both embarrassing for the people you are around and humiliating to the person being ogled. It's not my style and I call my friends on it when I see it which is rare.

This school-girl bullshit behavior irritates me because if we talked about how hot Blake Lively and Leighton Meester are or that Angelina Jolie is a piece of ass, and believe me she is extremely fuckable, they would start spitting about how those girls are too young or that "she has fake boobs" and that Angelinas a whore and a nut and a tattooed freak and that she was a home-wreaker.

I can promise you that if you were to mention that you'd like to see that chic in Avatar naked without the blue skin in the middle of your wife and her girlfriends talking about how good the movies was, they would loose their goddamn minds and you'd be the biggest piece of shit, horny pig who wasn't getting any that there ever was.

Doubt me? Give it a try and see what they say.

My point is ladies if you're reading this, knock it the fuck off because if you don't we're going to start reminding you why those girls are movies stars and you're not.

With all due respect,
The Chief