Monday, March 14, 2011

Another Antichrist Sighting!!! According To Jon Bon Jovi...



Greetings pagans, infidels and Scientards!!!  The Rev has been on a brief hiatus but had to return to let the world know that Jon Bon Jovi is not only making terrible music nowadays with his geriatric bandmates but is also spending time identifying the Antichrist as Steve Jobs.  Here's what Mr. Jovi said recently:



"Kids today have missed the whole experience of putting the headphones on, turning it up to 10, holding the jacket, closing their eyes and getting lost in an album; and the beauty of taking your allowance money and making a decision based on the jacket, not knowing what the record sounded like, and looking at a couple of still pictures and imagining it.
God, it was a magical, magical time. I hate to sound like an old man now, but I am, and you mark my words, in a generation from now people are going to say: 'What happened?'. Steve Jobs is personally responsible for killing the music business."
Holy crapola, Steve Jobs is the Antichrist!!!  Glenn Beck would be proud.  Mr. Jovi, you are an idiot!  The invention of the iPod is one of the greatest of our generation.  What the hell do kids care about being able to "hold the jacket" while listening to music.  If people didn't like iTunes and the iPod, they wouldn't have revolutionized the music market the way they did you friggin moron.  Yeah, it was a magical time alright having to buy myself or my kids a CD over and over due to scratching.  It was great having to remove one CD and put in another to be able to listen to a different song by a different artist or to listen to a different song by the same artist but on another CD of theirs.   I really miss the days of walking around with a CD player the size of a woopie cushion in my hand while trying to carry one of those stupid zip up CD carriers in my hand.  Even better, now I don't have to worry about almost getting in an accident in my car after a CD falls out of my sun visor case that never worked properly.  Why don't we just go back to the days of 45's or albums?

When you made this comment, I'm trying to think what was going through your head other than "God I'm old!"  You're Livin on a Prayer if you think people of today agree with a stupid comment like this.  Noone in their right mind is drinking your Bad Medicine.  Instead of giving love to Steve Jobs for his great invention you've chosen to Give Love A Bad Name, Heh Heh!!!  Just shut up and crawl back in your geriatric hole.  Tell you what, help Richie Sambora lay off the plastic surgery and get him on the P90X if you guys are going to continue to tour.  I'm so sick of all these old music minions from the 70's and 80's that keep acting like iTunes is a bad thing.  You friggin dicktards need to stop giving us your outdated opinion, stop touring and retire into the wild blue yonder.  We don't care what you think.  I want you all to fizzle out in a Blaze of Glory...sorry, I couldn't help myself.  To all of you that prefer 8-Tracks, Albums or CD's over iPods, blow me!!!  You're all retards...


Yours Truly,


The Rev

4 comments:

The Chief said...

No shit.

It's like the new R.E.M. album that they stole $9.99 from me for.

Old rock stars need to fade out and give up this "we can do this forever" crap.

Jon Bon Jovi hasn't been relavent for 20 year. He went the way of cassette singles, CD's and VHS.

The Rev's right, Jon. Pack it in and shut up. Enjoy your life and quit ragging on innovation and progress, fucking New Jersey douche.

Hate this guys music too.

Anonymous said...

Who's Jon Bonjovi!?

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but I actually agree with Mr. B.J. I remember buying records based on what they looked like, and, yes, "holding the jacket" while it played. Now, it's all "point and click" B.S. I hate it.

The Rev said...

Don't apologize Anonymous #2, we like when idiots give their opinion. You can probably find yourself a nice Sony Walkman at your local flea market. Check it out...

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