Bad iPhone Games, A Review

If any of you out there own an iPhone, I'm sure that you have had your dealings with some of the quintuple-zillion games that can be had for a good waste of time. I've run across my share of many a stench-filled game. Most are free, some are not, which really gets my goat; spending one scintilla of a dime on worthless tripe thats usually just plain poorly coded. The one that's sticking in my craw at the moment is an insidious beast of a game that, I'm ashamed to admit, has been an obsession off and on over the last 6-9 months, with a 4-5 month hiatus from it for the very reasons I write this now, ONLY MUCH WORSE THAN IT WAS BEFORE!! The publisher still says Miraphonic, though I believe someone else has bought them out. It still gets billed as one of the more popular free games out there. Boy has it gotten super duper lame-o since I decided to download it again, even though I told myself before NEVER AGAIN!! That game would be none other than Epic Pet Wars... I know, I know... Brady prolly plays Super Steppin' out, Shuck-n-Jive, Ultro-Fab, Night at the Mall Barbie! Nope. Only this sorry piece of shit... My only 14 year old, wanna-be, used-to-be pleasure. I can emphatically say at this point it is an infatuation whose load is fully blown. Before I get into it, I fully understand it is FREE; so is Ebola!!

The level of incompetence that seems to still permeate this app is past the point of humorous or even just annoying. It is a constant, over-arching theme!! It is supreme sloppiness and ass-holery all rolled into one steaming piece of ultra-copro-stench!! More times than not I will attempt to train my animal only to never reach a point that would indicate I have no exp. left or money gained. Often in the middle of a fight there will come a point that I win only to be shown that hit points are left and errors abound!! Anyway, that's enough taps of the keyboard wasted on this abysmal piece of donkey dung!!
MORAL----STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THIS WASTE OF CHARGE CYCLES ON YOUR PHONE!! YOU'LL KICK YOURSELF IF YOU DON'T....
Picture included is merely one of the many surprises that awaits the unsuspecting oaf looking for a free way to while away the time.
ANGRY BRADY

It's Miley!!!

Ok. So Miley Cyrus was the "mentor" on American Idol tonight.

Why?

I'm not going to deny that she is a talented young girl but really, couldn't she be replaced with any one of many photogenic, somewhat coordinated American girls who can sing?
Miley Cyrus is a shitty trend that has taken hold of pop culture all the way back to the emergence of Britney Fucking Spears.
A lot can happen in ten years. I'm sure, if I really thought about it, I could come up with examples that go even further back than Britney's "Oh baby baby" bullshit.

Here's what I think. Every time that some cute teen gets a hit record ANY cute teen could have done it. I'm sure you idiots really like the "artist" performing the hit song but know this: you would have heard the song anyway. It would have just been sung by someone else. They didn't write it. All of these songs are written by the same 15 people anyway.
Miley recorded it because her daddy has been spending his achey-breaky money for the last 17 years in an effort to get his little girl to be a star.
But really, is he that different from most of the fathers out there in the world who want to make Daddy's Little Princess's dreams come true? Puke.

Back to the Idol crap.

Let's get rid of the whole mentoring segment on Idol. The only reason they're on there is so that they can whore themselves out for whatever record or TV show they need the idiot public to spend their money on. It's rare that they get someone on there that's worth a shit. Even when they get someone who is established they just get on there and embarrass themselves like Elton John or Andrew Lloyd Weber. Hell, Quentin Tarantino made more sense.

I guess it could have been worse, they could have had Kanye mentoring.
Have I mentioned that I hate that guy?

-Darth

Stop Reproducing!!!!

So I'm at my nieces basketball game and I'm just noticing the over abundance of cretin-parents.

My sister-in-law is 36 and looks pretty good and stylish for a 36-year-old mother of a 10-year-old. Therefore I can't help but take note on how bad everyone else looks. My wife and I are forty and the three of us are the best looking people here.

I understand that it's an early morning game and most of the people here just threw on a hat and rushed out the house to get here but guess what? So did we.

This leads me to ponder "why?"

Did everyone else wait until they were in their mid-thirties to have kids and now they're really old to have 10 year olds? I'm not saying everyone should have kids in their early twenties. Christ NO. Most people in their twenties are morons. I was. They should concentrate on college and a career. And by that I mean drinking, fighting and getting laid.
What I can't stand are these old fogies that wait to have kids until their careers and finances are established then they can't relate to their kids when they start getting older. Not to mention the fact that they'll be grandparents when they're 70 and then they'll die.

Speaking of grandparents.
I'm sitting next to one of the many grandmothers at this game and she's cheering on little Ashley to hustle hustle then the game ends and Ashley runs up to grandma, hugs her and says, "Mommy, can we go to McDonald's for lunch?" WTF? Mommy? Unfuckingbelievable.

Anyway, back to the terrible looking people. That covers the old ones. Back to the ugly and unkempt.
Have some of these people really just let themselves go and abandoned all self-respect because they've "been busy raising kids"?

That's no goddamn excuse. Show yourself (and those who have to look at you) some respect.
Is it that fucking hard to make yourself look decent when stepping out in public? There's only one way you're going to catch me in public in sweats: when I'm heading to the gym. And that's not going to happen. Seriously, I'm naturally built like an adonis.
How about how overweight everyone is? It's been ten years since you've had that kid? Why do you still look pregnant? I'm not going to pick on just the ladies. You men look like shit too. Your guts are hanging over where your cock should be. It must be very dark in that room that you make babies in. Jeez.

Am I the only one who notices this? Is it the midwest? Is everyone on the coasts in shape and youthful?
Most people are cretins and they won't stop reproducing!

Or maybe I'm just an egotistical asshole who thinks I'm better than those around me?

Na.

-Darth

They're Just Words Idiots!

Ok, I've had it.

The world is filled with idiots, we've already established that here in these hallowed pages, but the one thing that the vast majority of people, some of whom I don't generally regard as idiotic, have a major hang up about cussing.

Cursing, Foul Language, whatever you want to call it. The words the George Carlin referred to in his classic "7 Words".

Who says these words are bad? Who and what makes the the de facto authoritah?
The Bible?, Dear Abby? Martha Stewart? Mr. Rogers? Who dammit?

And Why? Because Jesus said so? Really are you sure about that? Because its not polite? Why because someone just arbitrarily deemed it so?

What makes one group of letters evil versus another when both groups refer to the same thing?

Its ridiculous that people make such a stink over words. When the only meaning any word has is that which we give it. Words themselves have no power in and of themselves. But people everyday give select words more importance than other, even you dear reader are probably guilty of it. Have you ever asked yourself what makes saying sh!t worse than saying poo? Sure sh!t sounds more salacious but it means the same as poo.

Or what about an even less obvious polarization, the words p!ss and pee? How is p!ss worse than pee when the both refer to urine or urinating? Whats the difference?

Nothing, just like what's between most peoples' ears.

Obviously this dilemma goes beyond potty words, but when you think about the difference between "clean" words and their "dirty" synonyms you should ask, why does it matter which is used?

When you get right down to it, all the power that words hold over us, we give them. All of it. When you tell your kids that its bad to say these words, what do you think they really hear? They hear that these words have power and that they are not allowed to wield it. At least in your presence, because you know that they do when they not in your ear-shot. When you react with shock and disgust that your neighbor called your dog a F&cking Worthless Sh!t-Machine, thats exactly what he wanted. Does that mean that your dog is a F&cking Worthless Sh!t-Machine, of course not. And when you break it down, can a sh!t-machine f&ck anyway?

Some of our favorite blue-terms don't really even make any sense when you analyze the words themselves. For example f*ck-head. On a purely grammatical level these two terms don't work together. What exactly is a f*ck-head? The tip of a penis at best, I suppose, but really its doesn't mean anything. Anything except what we make it mean.

Another good example is b!itch. Female animal, typically a dog, by its Webster's definition, but we have given it a much harsher meaning. To call a woman a female dog is no more insulting that calling her a female squirrel or snake, is it? She is female after all and don't we all like dogs? I do, I actually prefer female dogs over males, but for some reason calling a woman a b!tch is not very nice. Why? Because someone decided so.

I say f%ck 'em.

With all due respect,
The Chief

Help Us Zombi Reagan, You're Our Only Hope!!-less... (REAL REVIEW)

I haven't posted in some time, other than to say I hadn't been posting in some time, but in perusing the App's store it was suggested by Genius (part of the App's store) that I may like this app...

Firstly, I lived all of the Reagan Era and was none too impressed by Bedtime for Bonzo's twin partner in crime. People really seem to have a short memory, sorry Ronnie, pun intended! Where should I start??

Well let's see, the busting of the Air Traffic Controllers Union, I know don't start federal law prohibits government workers from striking, blah, blah, blah! The social impact was the target here. 11,000 plus workers---GONE a big thumbs down to unions and both thumbs up for business.

Reaganomics, a term that still haunts us to this day! While the promise of low taxes hits the average Pepsi-swillin', McDonald's eatin', American squarely in the pleasure centers of his/her monobrowed brain-case; that policy did very little for most middle class people. The military budget was raised higher that any other peace time Prez, 30%+ higher!! His policies toward Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and food stamps, were so profound that many elderly were eating canned dog food cause they couldn't afford med's, etc. At the same time all budgets that may have had an air of coffee house hangin', art fag-ish, crystal waving, incense burnin', liberalism were sent to the budgetary shitter!! Things as wacky as, federal education programs and the EPA to name a few!! All of this to eventually grab the American people the largest known deficit in history at that time, 3 trillion dollars!!!

While many people argue that it's a good thing the stance he took on Communism, the so called Reagan Doctrine was a very mixed blessing, if one were to call it that. "To provide overt and covert aid to anti-communist resistance movements in an effort to rollback the Soviets and governments with their backing." The biggest baddest piece of under-handed law breaking bullshit was the Iran Contra affair!! This is one of the biggest pieces of chicanery in our American history! Do you know how many people went to jail over that shit?!? High Treason I tell ya!! Does anybody know how many very poor south American countries he help to utterly decimate?!
How about "The War On Drugs"?!?!? This has got to be, and backed by statistics, the biggest waste of time and tax-payer money ever!! Well, second probably to our never-ending war in Iraq, when I think about it. Tell me one good thing the War on Drugs produced!! I can tell the reader of some. Millions of nonviolent offenders being taught how to very violent! Millions of kids growing up in broken homes, which compounds the situation! Assets that get seized that go into voluminous coffers to which you or I get to see none of, or know what gets done with! That's just to name a few.
Oh one good thing... I guess we all got to understand exactly what Alzheimer's disease is!
But I digress.
This is a review of an app. It's an app about a president that just wants to gloat about who "King Ronnie Raygun" was. BORING!!! ZERO stars.
Oh yeah anybody remember the Star Wars program?? That was sockin' money down a rabbit hole for ya'!!

Angry Brady