Dead Kennedy

So we're all going to hear about what a great civil servant Ted Kennedy was.
Being born in 1969 I've only seen Ted as the bloated, gray haired, booze-swillin' cretin that he's been for the last thirty 30-something years.
I wonder how much the news is going to focus on his years of service, how he's a survivor.

Speaking of 1969. Are they going to cover Chappaquiddick? Mary Jo Kopechne?
Are they going to speak of how he abandoned her in his submerged car that he drove a bridge? How he left her there to die instead of telling the police? How the police didn't find out about the incident until the next day?
Is the media going to mention his expulsion from Harvard for cheating? Public drunkeness?
Hell no. So far the news is focusing on the positive and how long he's served in the Senate.

Is there any justice?

I didn't think so until my teenage son walked in this evening.
I asked him if he wore the shirt he was wearing to school. He said, "Oh, yeah". It was the topic of conversation that day.
Total coincidence. Not planned.
My son wore his Dead Kennedys T-Shirt. One of my favorite bands from the 80's.
Kismet.

The only question I have about Ted's death is: Why couldn't he have died the same day as Michael Jackson?

-Darth

Cash for Clunkers or The Worst Way To Spend 3 Billion Dollars

The Federal governments C.A.R.S program, popularly known as Cash for Clunkers was devised as a way to a) get people into to dealerships to buy new cars and b) get old poor fuel economy cars off the streets. What this really means is that the Cash for Clunkers program was a way to put money in the pockets of the auto dealers to shut them up for not bailing out GM and Chrysler and appease the ever growing Green movement by appearing to decrease our gas consumption and thereby indirectly reduce our greenhouse gas emissions.

Well they could not have gotten it more WRONG!

Or maybe not, lets look at a couple of points here and you decide who benefitted.

Cash for Clunkers = Economic Stimulus
One of the purported benefits of the CARS program was that it would incentivize the American public to go out and spend money on a new car. Never mind that they might not have the spare cash or the flexibility in their budget to afford a new car. So the first round of Cash, the initial $1,000,000,000 (1 billion dollars ) was allocated by Congress, against the advise of many members on both sides of the aisle, and the media started the frenzy by giving the dealers essentially free advertising in the form of news coverage. This money ran out after the first 28 days or so, so the Senate approved another $2,000,000,000.

The average payout was $4,000, so that means the roughly 750,000 cars and trucks were sold. The average dealer profit on cars that qualified was about $900, so the auto dealers grossed somewhere around $675,000,000. Not bad, however the vast majority of cars that were sold were IMPORTS, not American cars. Some estimates put it as high as 75% of the cars sold were Honda, Hyundais and Toyotas, and not the ones that are built here.

That means that something like $506,000,000 of the profit (stimulus) is leaving our country. This also and more importantly means that the American Taxpayers are giving $2,200,000,000 to foreign auto manufactures so they can have a really nice third quarter.

Brilliant! Thanks Rep. Betty Sutton, D-Ohio, and Sen. Debbie Stabenow, D-Mich. as well as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-NV. Good looking out.

Reduced Oil Consumption and Greenhouse Gas Emissions
Based on the estimated sales of 750,000 cars and trucks and assuming that they all replaced vehicles with a low MPG of 13 with new cars that get an slightly unrealistic 20, here's the big gas savings:

Using an average of 15,000 miles per year, the "clunker" uses 1,153 gallons of gas and the "green machine" uses 750 gallons for a savings of 403 gallons of gas per year.

Now if each and every car bought under Cash for Clunkers saves 403 gallons per year that means our annual gas saving for the country, based on 750,000 cars sold is 302,250,000 gallons.

Sounds like a lot, but our average DAILY consumption was 378,000,000 gallons for 2008.

That means that we have reduced our annual gas consumption by a whopping 0.27%. Big F-ing Deal. We didn't even reduce the consumption by a full days worth of driving. It not enough to even slightly irritate the Saudi princes.

So you tell me, was Cash for Clunkers the big success they are telling us it was?

With all due respect,
The Chief

A TRAVESTY, ER, HISTORY LESSON

I'm probably gonna bore the ever-lovin'-shit outta most of ya with my foray into international banking and corporate hand-jobs, so quit reading right now and get back to fucking Alley McBeal, or Hardcastle and McCormick, or whatever regurgitated tripe you're all watching nowadays!

Raise your hand, your right hand, starting from your mid-chest. Bend your elbow so your hand is parallel with your breast, fingers extended and thrust it perpendicular at about a 45 degree angle, palm open, fingers straight and stiff and all together, if you are very familiar with a little company called Goldman Sachs. Heute Deutschland, morgen die Welt!! To you too motherfucker! For the rest of us not so STA-PRESSED, corporately inclined, this is a little info as to how deeply we are phqued!!

Goldman Sachs was founded in 1869 by Marcus Goldman and his son by marrige, Samuel Sachs. Headquartered in L.M. New York. It pretty much started every Goddamn thing that's ever been tried or seen on the Stock Market, including, but not limited to a 1928 "closed-end fund" that is pretty much a fucking Ponzi scheme. Seems as though their shenanigans started early. Lots more bullshit company history I won't bore you with. Hell! After researching these stooges, even I felt as though someone had given me about 20 Thorazine!

Cookin' with Gas right up to 1934, Congress passed the Glass-Steagall Act. This law was supposed to shield Americans from dubious stock brokers and shit bum bankers. In the mid '90's under Clinton( sorry liberals, Clinton is a wanker too) 1/2 of the law was revoked. Remember the Dot.Com Bust? Remember anyone going to the Pokey for any of that? I didn't think so... That same year, then CEO of Goldman, HANK PAULSON, made sweet love to Congress to rescind the other half of the law. Then BLAMMO!! Mr. Paulson gets a cushy job as Treasury Secretary ala' Georgie Poo 2 ( A.K.A. the demon corporate ass-crust). Ah... It's good to be a Robber Baron! Who you know and who you blow, I guess...

Anybody remember that scallawag Ivan Boesky? 'Member all the fun he had?! All the damage he did?? NO! Prolly smoking your first 'pinner' filled with Oregano, or trying to get to 2nd base with that pimply faced hominid you were so fond of! You know... The one you were gonna marry or flail yourself off a cliff if it didn't work out, committing a modern day Romeo and Juliet, or some awkward, teen angst bullshit like that. Ivan got the inside scoop from David Brown, (Goldman robot), who was also convicted. Robert Freeman got slammed too. A close butt bud of Robert Rubin ( all you NPR Hippies oughta know that Ewok in Jew clothing or vise versa. Which BTW, NPR is the CIA man!) Too many names for ya yet? It'll give you something to do, after pulling off your 35th speed-wank in less than an hour. Gotta give Mr. Meat Missile a little down time, eh?

2008, Goldman Sachs earned $25 million from underwriting Cali Bonds, but advised their clients to"short" those very same bonds. Any Macroeconomists in the audience? "Shorting" bonds is betting the state defaults. So what? this drives up the cost... Anyone getting a picture yet?

Let's try this tact. Hank Paulson, Lawrence Summers, Robert Rubin, Tim Geithner, Mark Patterson. All people that were or are now at the very top in the governmental Echelon! LOOK THOSE FUCKTARDS UP! Even that MR. "CHANGE" dude that's now in office has seemed to consider it business as usual as far as this is concerned. Look at who he's recommending/ed/already in place for top Fed/ Treasury jobs.

In 2008 "Goldy" got $10 billion in TARP only to pay hundreds of millions of dollars in bonuses to 1500 some odd employees. 300+ getting $2 mil. and 900+ getting $1 mil.!!!

Wanna hear a quote? Person interviewing, " Does the US Secretary of the Treasury work for the people or does he work for the banking system on Wall Street?" Respondent, "He works for Goldman Sachs." This is a former Assistant Secretary of Treasury!

Have you had enough? I got more! Uncle?!

One might ask why I'm dredging up this shit again. If one is.. Go to your local hardware store, preferably one of the mega chains that has put the mom and pop places outta business. Walk straight in to the gardening department. Find the section that has the largest gardening shears one can find. Probably made in China with metal extracted from the teeth of the workers at the plant that died from malnourishment, or nano-particle inhalation. Take it off of the shelf, making sure to take out as many of your fellow consumers ( since that's all we are you know ) and commit a nice bloody Sepaku right there in the aisle, while screaming " I did it for the money, Ma!"

I dredge this up again because like the saying goes..." We learn from history that we learn nothing from history" George Bernard Shaw. Read some history Dammit!!

That's O.K. Jesus still loves you. AnGry bRaDY

NOW go have fun at thE Mall.......

80's -vs- 90's: One Hit Wonders

I just finished reading a blog about the One Hit Wonders of the 1980s.

The article went into detail about how the 1980s was a decade of OHWs (I'm lazy. I don't want to type it out every time).
I have to strongly disagree with this. I think the 90s had faaarrr more OHWs. They just weren't as memorable.
Sure, the 80s had In A Big Country, Rock Me Amadeus and 99 Luftballoons.
But the 90s had such hits as Flagpole Sitta, I Touch Myself, New Age Girl and Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.
Out of those samplings from the 90s, can you name any of the artists?

Here's a few others:

Groove is in the Heart - Dee-Lite

Remember in the early ninety's how people were trying to bring back the sixties. You had annoying college students getting into the Grateful Dead because it went with smoking weed? Annoying.
This group made sure to let you know that retards come in all creeds and colors.

What is Love - Haddaway

OK. This song is known only as "those SNL head-bobbing guys" song.
Haddaway's most likely doesn't mind. He's probably getting a $12,000 royalty check every month for this fucking thing.
It IS nearly impossible to hear it with out doing the head thing though. Come on. Admit it.

What's Up - 4 Non Blondes

Still played today. No one could remember the groups name. Everyone knows the song.
Useless trivia: Lead singer Linda Perry went on to co-write with Pink on most her hits. None of which are as annoying as this song.

New Age Girl - Deadeye Dick

Total Tripe. Remember this crappy song? No? Lucky bastards! I could go into detail about how shitty it is and why but fuck it. Just listen to it. Try.

Macarena - Los Del Rio

Destined to become a wedding reception staple. Don't you feel stupid for buying this and putting it on the charts? You know who you are. You're the same assholes who put OMC and Lou Bega on the charts. Damn you.

Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit of...) - Lou Bega

More wedding reception fodder. Christ. How horrid. Although I do have nice memories of my 8 year old singing and dancing to it at the time. What I wouldn't pay to have footage of that. The little bastard.

How Bizarre - OMC

Who the fuck was this guy and how did he get this on the radio? What does OMC stand for? I don't have time to Google this douche bag. Wiki just shows that OMC was a band from New Zealand. We should have nuked NZ in 1996 because of this. Lord of the Rings could have been filmed somewhere else.

Tubthumping - Chumbawamba

Wow. I have saved the "best" for last. I have to admit. I loved this song when it came out. I worked with a dude that did this bit where he would do this crazy dance when the song came on the radio. It lasted a week. He couldn't keep up. It was on the radio alot. It seemed like every thirty minutes. Most overplayed One Hit Wonder of the 90s.

Pretty much all of these "artists" are forgettable. Everyone remembers Big Country (song title helps), Falco and Nina.
How many of you remembered Harvey Danger, The Divinyls, Deadeye Dick and the Crash Test Dummies?
I thought so.
-Darth

Stop Talking and Say Something

People talk to me a lot. They talk about their jobs, or their wife or their kids or their cars or their vacation... do you see a pattern?

What people don't seem to do though is say anything. Anything meaningful anyway. Yesterday someone said to me that I was being quiet and I realized that I was, because I had nothing meaningful to add to their conversation and for whatever social derogative my hesitation to play along made them uncomfortable.

This is because we have all grown far to used to making noise come out of our mouths than saying anything that is worth being heard. Just watch TV or listen to the radio for five minutes and you get an earful of useless spoken sound.

In general, people love to hear themselves. It serves as a kind of positive reinforcement that what they believe is true and correct because it is being said out load.

Not true.

Just because you talk about your opinion on a subject doesn't make it valid. I can say that the world is full of idiots all day long but it doesn't make it true. But if I were to tell you that the average IQ in the United States was estimated at 98 meaning that for the US at least 150,000,000 people are of below average intelligence (idiots), I would be saying something with meaning.

Now obviously we can't talk with one another in long strings of fact and statistic, but for godsakes when you are having a conversation with someone try to add something worth while.

The other side of this coin is that many people prefer talking to listening. The very act of listening to someone for many people is really just an exercise in not talking. I know someone in particular, who many of you that know me personally will be able to immediately identify, that loves to hear himself talk, but has absolutely no interest in hearing what you have to say about whatever ridiculous or offensive monologue that he is delivering. There are so many people that I could name that love to tell you all about their shit, and fill their litanies with rhetorical questions but rarely even take a breath to let you offer a thought that I could do an entire site dedicated to these types of people. They do this because they don't really want to listen to you, they just want you to listen to them.

There is probably, most certainly, auto-therapeutic element to all this one-sided conversing. Sometimes we just need to vent or we need to hear the words spoken. Take not of this behavior in yourself and remember when your listener needs a turn at the mic to spout, shut up.

With all due respect
The Chief

The Internet Has Made Us All Sickos

I don't know what brought me to Googletrendstoday, but I found myself reading over the list of the top 100 phrases that had been searched on Google in the last 57 minutes @ 3:00pm on 8/20/09. Many of the items I expected, given what I had heard on NPR that morning. Things like "powerball winner" "chesterton tornado", "world s cheapest car", and "octomom".

I listened to Howard Stern this morning as well. He had Rob Zombie on with his wife Sheri Moon. He also talked about Shawn King, Larry King's wife. All three of these names were in the top 50 searches. Again, not surprising,

Also not surprising were searches related to Caster Semenya. She/He/It is an Olympic hopeful that has been setting crazy women's track records recently and has now come under investigation by the IAAF because they aren't sure what Caster's gender is.

Now as difficult as this may sound for Caster, take a look at these photos and maybe you can understand where the IAAF is coming from.

Notice anything strange about this person?

Am I imagining it, or is there a bulge in the normally budge-free area on a woman? Power of suggestion perhaps? Probably not.

This story, Casters ambiguous gender, leads into another topic; ambiguous genitalia. Ambiguous genitalia was the number 2, 4 and 8 searches during about a 4 hour period this morning. If you follow a link to the search for the term "ambiguous genitalia" you will understand whyThe Internet Has Made Us All Sickos.Do you really need to do an image search to see pictures of semi-penises and proto-vages? You can't just imagine what they look like, you actually need to see a set of labia with a 4" clitoris/penis and mini balls that look like really bad hemorrhoids? Who needs that? I sure the hell don't.

But apparently its just the sickos that use Google who do, because Yahoo!'s top searches for the day did not include Caster, ambiguous genitalia or anything remotely interesting.

Actually the people that use Yahoo! must be teenage girls, stay at home moms and video game geeks because the top searches were Twitter, Big Brother, Brittney Spears and several entries related to the new Playstation 3.

One other interesting note is that the number 17 search on Yahoo! for this day was for its rival Bing.

Back to Google for a few last thoughts; at the time this was written the Ryan Jenkins story was breaking so everyone was searching for crap with his name or "i love money" in the search term, but the funniest search term was "white people stole my car".

Lastly, since I hate sports in generally and deliberately don't know sport figures, their names, records or affiliations I had to google IAAF, which was not one of the top 100 terms.

With all due respect,
The Chief

The Sissification of the Next Generation

If you have kids that are under the age of 25, generations Y and Z, chances are you have seen and even participated in the sissification of these kids.

Sissification, from the word sissy, meaning to make someone a sissy, to teach someone to be weak, timid and effeminate.

There are so many layers to this weakening of our social and cultural backbone that it truly should be covered in a series of articles, but I had a couple of specific conversations this weekend that go right to the rotten core of this issue.

A common sissification method is allow the boundaries between male and female dress and play to be blurred to the point of homogenization. Little boys with painted fingernails, carrying purses and baby dolls are things that our grandfathers would have killed for. Just imagine how pathetic these kids look to those who hate us. "Look Haji, Americans are perverse and disgusting. They even teach their boys to be girls."

One of the most irritating is the Sanitization of Language. Yes we all know that its impolite to use curse words in front of small children. (I guess we all know this, I have to admit I don't see the problem.) However the mothers and fathers of the gen y and gen z have taken it upon themselves to add on to George Carlin's list. Words like, "stupid" and "butt" and "ugly" and "shut up" are now BAD WORDS!

Can you believe it? Suddenly now if a kid has a mosquito bit on his arse he has to say "bottom" or "bum" because BUTT is now offensive.

Give Me A Break!

And Stupid? Since when is it impolite to say that the guy who ran across the street without looking at oncoming traffic is stupid. What else is he? Let me guess, Silly?

The word is Stupid. Stupid, Stupid STUPID!

Better yet, you can't say "shut up" either. So what are you supposed to say to the kid on the playground that is calling your mother a mini-van driving whore, "please be quiet"? Give me a another break. I get it that we don't want our kids to tell their parents to shut up, but how can a kid show any kind of backbone telling someone to be quiet?

They can't and there in lies the problem.

By teaching kids that everything that needs to fair, and to share, and to only use nice words and not to rough-house and to shrink like a violet to authority we are turning them into the Generation of Sissies.

Sissifying parents, do you really think that all the other kids are playing by your rules? They're not, and all you are doing is widening the gap between the bullies and the bullied.

Am I advocating teaching kids to cuss like sailors and kick the littlest kid in the head for his lunch money? Of course not, but I cannot stand this mentality that somehow the world has changed and there no longer are winners or losers.

Lets jump to the future for a second, all these nail painted boys that couldn't tell little Johnny to shut up will be cutting themselves and wearing all black, blowing up high schools and shooting heroine because they just can't tell the crack dealers no. By teaching them that everyone must be nice and getting along when they are little, we set them up for failure when they get to be teenagers and realize the real world is not so nice. Its almost cruel.

The world is a harsh place and no we don't need it to be harsher, but turning your kid into a whimpering sissy only makes it worse. The world is lead by people with strong wills and strong hands. I hate to tell you pre-K soccer moms, the world is full of winners and they're going to sweep the floors with your passive little thumbsuckers.

Mascots That Have To Go!

I'm sure some of you out there likes a mascot or two.
Who doesn't love Fred Bird (besides Angry Brady and The Chief)?
Or Jack from Jack In The Box. The SINGLE greatest marketing campaign of the the last 20 years.

But, there are those out there that just need to go.
Here's the short list.

The Six Flags Guy. I've already established my utter disdain for this douchebag.
First off, no one likes anyone in old man makeup. It never looks right and, of course, they always start dancing. Then, this year, they decide to have him talk. He needs to go the way of the Taco Bell Chihuahua. Die.

Ronald McDonald - This guy has one major strike against him from the start.
He's a fucking clown. Who doesn't hate clowns? Check out the video on our media page to see how creepy he was in the beginning.
If Ronald really ate all that McDonald's food do you really think he'd be as thin as he is on the commericials?
Actually, when was the last time you saw him on a commercial?
He's a shut-in now.

Burger King. This guy is creepy. Who didn't get creeped out by the first commercial with this revised monarch? A dude was woken in the middle of the night with this character standing at the foot of his bed with a Whopper in his hand.
Wow, did the creators of this commercial have some step-father or uncle issues that they had to work out?

All Geico insurance mascots:
Geico takes the cake. Not only do they have an obnoxious mascot, they have three!
First is the Gecko. Cute at first. I'd still like to step on him though. He's not as bad as the other two.
Then there is the Cavemen. How obnoxious are these guys? Are we supposed to feel sorry for them? They became the first ad campaign characters to get their own television show. I think it ended up being cancelled after two episodes.
Perhaps there is a God.
The most recent addition to this hated triad is the Money you could have saved with Geico.

Retarded.
Now we have to hear "Somebody's Watching Me" by Rockwell again. Didn't we hear that enough in 1984?
They are running out of ideas. The worst part of Geico is that they don't retire any of their characters. All three of these are running right now.
None of them can make me pick up the phone and call for insurance quotes. Not even the Progressive Lady can get me to do that and I find her oddly attractive.

I'm sure I've missed some in the list. Feel free to let us know which ones you hate and why.
-Darth

Travel Advisory for Idiots

Travel is every mans' right and most men's dream. To see the world and all its wonders is an aspiration we all share. Interacting with cultures and people whose language, cuisine and interpersonal styles that are different than our own is way to not only elevate our understanding of this planets social diversity but to better share our culture with the world.

But you've got to use some common sense people!

Many countries receive Americans with open arms, sometime they cross their fingers but they allow us and want us and enjoy having us visit without hesitation or reservation.

Do you know which ones they are?

Its easy. They are the ones that don't shot rockets at our planes, or threaten to drop nukes on us or the ones that don't cut off our journalist's heads.

You know, England, Mexico, Canada, Germany, Japan, China, Spain, France, Italy, Greece, Thailand, India, to name a few.

Can you guess which ones you shouldn't go to?
Maybe Iraq or Iran sound like poor travel choices? How about Darfur, Sudan or Lebanon? And maybe you haven't heard, but North Korea is not really hot on Americans these days either.

Come on people, really. Does our government have to start incarcerating you idiots after you get out of the Venezuelan prison to keep you from traveling to place that should be obvious problems?

As a blatant example, lets look at the recent situation with the two idiots that North Korea just release, Laura Ling and Euna Lee.

These two snuck into North Korea from China to interview defectors from North Korea and film their escapes across a frozen river between North Korea and China. They had been warned by Chinese officials not to venture into NK.

Did they listen? No. So, they were arrested and detained and there was little hope that these two idiots were getting out once Pyongyang realized that they were holding the sister of Lisa Ling, the reporter who had also snuck in and interviewed people off the streets of North Korea and uncovered Kim Jong Il's deity status, his ban on outside media, misinformation campaigns and out right brainwashing of his people.

The thing that really stands out as stupid is that they were told by numerous people in the know, that going over to North Korea was a bad idea, especially for Ling. But hey its ok, we can just send good ol' Bill over to fix things right up. You know because he's not busy and the North Koreans are reasonable people after all, right?

In case you didn't know the United States Department of State generates a list of places the Ma and Pa Kettle with their Piggly Wiggly bag luggage should avoid, but honestly all you have to do is watch the news once a month. If you hear the name of the country you want to visit in the same news piece that also include words like "terrorists", "bombings", "behead" or "kidnapping" DON'T GO.

And if you a journalist with big ideas of uncovering government corruption or human trafficking, don't bother, we already know that the whole planet is screwed up and we don't need you sticking your nose in it. Bill Clintons busy; he can't keep giving photo-ops to dictator midgets.

W.T.F. MAN!!!

I try to stay as far away from malls as humanly possible. Unfortunately, I upon occasion have to go, being that it is one of the only places to look at all things Mac. Begrudgingly, I go...

While there the other day I saw a couple of things that I had to comment on.

Firstly, eyebrow weaving!? Jumpin' Jehosephat! What in Gods name is this shit?! Do they make little baskets on someone's eyebrow? Does one have to possess a thick Italian unibrow to be able to have this procedure done?

Is this some sort of quasi-occupational therapy for the criminally insane? I really don't even want to know....

It sounds like someone has figured out another way to separate you from your money in the name of fashion, or whatever the Hells going on, yet again! I think it's probably a covert recruitment operation for the Taliban!! Yeah! That's it. "Come, get your eyebrows weaved and please watch this training, errr, product video."

Secondly, Hot Topic!! Corporate shills turning a cultural movement into marketing to the masses!! YEAH...... I know this has been done with many other movements, but this one hits too close to home for Angry! Where I grew up people that didn't have perfectly coiffured, feathered hair, Levi's leather shoes( I think they were made by Levi. Maybe

Darth or the Chief can remember. Anyone else remember those asinine, retard-o shoes? ), Levi's denim jacket, and a KShit 95 T-shirt with the original fox/pig thing smokin' a doobie in Day-Glo orange no less, was a freak and quite possibly homosexual too!! Well, I was as usual, the odd-ball in school. Having shock-white, Billy Idol-esqe hair, Misfit t-shirts, jeans with holes ( cause momma was poor ), combat boots, Jet-black eye-liner, etc. I stuck out like, not just a sore thumb, but a thumb smashed by a 15 pound maul that had become infected and had begun to balloon to 2x its size! I can't even recall how many fights I got into just for the way I looked! More times than not, surprising some microcephalic jock that thought I'd be an easy target, only to kick the ever loving shit out of his surprised ass!!! Don't fuck with small, angry, punk rock, Irish/German kids. Most of us are already so on edge you might be the straw that breaks the proverbial camels back! Back to Hot Topic. This is yet another example of ideas bastardized and manipulated until it becomes socially acceptable. " Show mom and dad you're a rebel! But do it in the safety and comfort of your local mall." or, " Show 'The Man' were to stick it! But first, buy it in a store in a mall run by Him!" Punk is definitely dead! Keep shopping..... Zombies

Long Live the D.K.'s!!! Angry BraDy

The Great Beer Summit

Photo Op Time!

By now I'm sure everyone knows about the "Beer Summit" between the President, Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. and Sgt. James Crowley.

If you haven't heard the story here's the Cliff Notes' version:
On July 23rd, a neighbor called the Cambridge police to report that two black males with backpacks were trying to gain entry into Professor Gates' home.
Cambridge police Sergeant James Crowley and Officer Carlos Figueroa arrived to investigate.
Gates could not provide proper ID to prove that he lived there. Only a ID showing that he was a professor at Harvard.
At some point the professor began yelling at the police officers when asked to step onto the porch, "No. I will not.,"
Then he followed up with such rants as "This is what happens to black men in America!", "ya, I'll speak with your mama outside." and the total asshole line of "You don't know who you're messing with."

To make things worse, Professor Gates is a friend of President Obama.
When asked by the press to comment on the situation, the President replied that he didn't know all of the details but that the Cambridge Police Department acted "stupidly". (Of course, I'm paraphrasing the President. We don't have the room for all the ums... and uhhs...)
Guess what? If you don't know all the facts of the situation...don't comment on it! Especially when you're the President of the United States.

This was not a "black" thing Mr. President. It was a man disobeying the police thing.

It gets better. When more of the facts come out the President speaks to Sergeant Crowley and they decide that the 3 of them should all sit down and have a beer.

Cut to CNN broadcasting almost 2 minutes of nothing but the sound of cameras clicking while these three have a cold one. No audio of them speaking. Probably the biggest news let down since Geraldo accessed Al Capone's vault.

Then again, think of all the free advertising Bud Light, Blue Moon and Red Stripe received.

Red Stripe? Really.

News!! Print, Media, and The Net

Greetings and salutations!

I have almost completely "weened" myself from the large and enticing, but ever growing and ominous teat that is Google. Browser has changed, e-mail is in process, and I have found other places to glean images and the like. If you can't comprehend why, or you still think it's just the "do no evil",their own words, big fluffy friend that has all the answers, then have a look at this...

DO NO EVIL

If your attention span is that of a gnat, email me. I send ya' the PDF. This is part of an ongoing story and I digress.

The actual premise of today's meanderings is that of the news sites I have encountered, and my continued belief that society is coughing up sputum from the More, Better, Faster, Shinier Virus it has contracted.

Perusing some of these "news" sites makes me ill!! Even from the likes of the BBC, Washington Post, New York Times, etc,etc. Actual news that can be informative, thought provoking, and that might even convince me that I'm not being lied to.... About 30%. That's being generous!!

The rest... ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT!! Don't believe me? Check out The L.A. Times. This is the fucking front page!! Check out as many others as you care to. The BBC is probably the closest thing to news that I remember.

Television, rrrrrh, I don't even wanna get started on that worthless medium!! The only thing I can discern as news on that shit is traffic, and to a much lesser extent weather. An even lesser extent may be news of missiles heading our way!

Have our attention spans really gotten down to 3 second sound bites, Beer Summits, and which celebrity is doing whatever the fuck those people do?! Plastic! We love it!! We love it so much, when Dow came out with the shit, it wasn't long after we had to start living it, consuming it, being it.

My moniker fits me, with good reason! If others were to take the blinders off and smell the turd, and not recoil back into Plastic World; to really look at what is going on around them, we may be in a much better spot. How does everybody think we get into the messes of the variety we are in now?

Want an answer?? COMPLACENCY!!!!!! Power loves that shit. What's on the news is only a symbol people. Are you too busy being mind-fucked by your bag of MSG laden chips and your NutriSweet fortified cola? "It's all the good stuff, so you won't fight so much"!!

Back to Dreamland....

ANgrY brADy

Eat This Not That, You Friggin' Idiot

Come on people do you really need a book that tells you not to eat a burger with three patties, three slices of cheese and thousand island dressing?

Really? Are you all that stupid?

What really blows my fucking mind is that there is not one book but three, one for fat adults, one for their fat kids and one so that the fat family can figure out that shit with names like Chessy Straws, Pillsbury Big Deluxe Classics White Chunk Macadamia Nut and Butter Bits are not health food. For god sakes, "Big" and "Chunk" don't give you a frigging clue?

Its 2009, if you don't know that ground chuck and peanut butter ice cream sandwiches make your ass big, than you are an idiot. If you need to buy a book that tells you not to eat a banana split with caramel, chocolate and strawberry sauces, whipped cream and three scoops of ice cream from Cold Stone, you should be spending the $24.95 to buy a goalie mask to keep your fork hand from reaching your mouth.

Sorry folk, I don't fell bad for fatties that eat shit all day long, buy books like these and read them while they lay on the damn couch.

I don't.

You're fat because you eat too much, not because you don't know what not to eat. If you really don't know what not to eat, heres a tip:

Try just not eating the crap you have been for the last few years. That should be a good start. Its obviously not good for you.

If you already own this book and you can't see your feet, well I told you.

With all due respect,
The Chief

Big, Fat and Stupid

The year I was born, 1970, the obesity rate in this country was 9.7% among the total population, the rate among teenagers was less than 5%.

Also in 1970, the United States ranked number one in math, science and reading scores. Although the data was not as complete globally as it is today its a safe bet that we were on top.

In 1970 the Americans exported more than they imported, we considered a 16 ounce Coke from McDonalds a LARGE, if you couldn't read a kid's handwriting he spent the next week practicing s's and u's and a XXXL shirt was only available at the carnival.

Now 30.6% of Americans are obese, where as most of Asia falls under 4%, 27.6% of kids are big fat asses. American students are not even in the top 20 in math science and reading scores, being betting by the likes of Poland, Ireland, Estonia and Macau. (Where the hell is Macau again...) and a 66% of all T-shirts sold in this country are at least an XL. Worst of all we are spending $147,000,000,000.00 a year on taking care of our biggest, fattest and stupidest.

What a bunch of big, fat IDIOTS we have become! We should be ashamed of ourselves, but its not our faults though.

No.

Its a plan by the Chinese to take over. Make us fat, lazy and stupid and they don't even have to launch a missile. They can just sail on over and push our big fat flabby butts into the streets. Brilliant.

Yeah, really.

Right, I mean it has to be. It can't possibly be that our "I want it all and I want it now" mentality is paying off. It couldn't be the benefit of kinder, gentler parenting, sharing and giving every one a turn. It's definitely not the result of test scores based teaching versus content based teaching.

Nope, its got to be the Chinese.

Because its never our fault.

With all due respect,

The Chief

Men, and the Dicks in their Hand

Hey folks, Dirty Darril has another thing to talk about.
Normally I would tell you to sit down and shut the fuck up but this week I am taking a different approach. I have been bashing women alot in my past posts, so this week I am going to bash men. Yeah I said it, MEN.

We men are, for the most part, good guys, but just like the select women I write about we have our asshole men.

First I would like to point out the guys that think it's cool to bash their wife or girlfriend in front of the other guys. You are a real piece of work, and the guys you are trying to impress think that you are a nothing for what you say. If what you say is true, you should not be with this woman, if it isn't true you are a definate asshole. (and not one worthy of this site)

Second, you stupid selfish motherfuckers that don't take responsibility for the kids that you have created and just disregard that they are yours.
Thank you fuckface, now I have to help pay for your child. Your son will probably steal my car or rob my house or your daughter will be the next stripper I put my dollar between the tits that her 65 year old sugar daddy bought her when she turned 22. As much as I like your daughter, you are not around to be a father figure so I know that when her looks fail to make her Miss Center Stage she will have a few kids who's sperm doner won't be around either and here we go with the WIC and welfare that comes out of my check. Thanks dick!

Now let's talk about you strong manly men that like to hit women. Do you feel good about what you do? Why don't you e-mail me and make some time to hit somebody that can hit you back and fuck you up! You are the lowest piece of shit there is. Learn to walk away, put down the stag beer and take care of shit. Mr. I'm-sorry-every-Sunday-morning don't cut it jerk. Grow up and be a man!

Now I said all that to say this: I mean what I said above and men can be dicks...
But...
You women are easy to bash because all you do is bitch, and the bitching leads to us just running out on you and the kids so that we don't murder you all. Because while we are at work you are training little Cindy to be a bitch like you are, and if we don't run we end up beating you not because we want to but, god damn, your Dad failed to put sense into you so now we must beat it into you.

Bottom line: Keep your mouth shut and take care of your husband and maybe, just maybe, you won't have that thump on the back of your head that is covered by your hair so that you can't prove shit, or if it's real bad you won't take that fall down the steps after you come out of the bathroom smiling, saying it's positive.

I by no means am trying to be cruel, but if early in life daddy left or sister Mary made you bump fuzzies with her you need to get over it. You probably came then anyway so just chalk it up as another time. Bitching at your man for reasons that mean nothing come to no avail.
Most of what you say means nothing anyway.
Grow up girls, and take it like a man!